Recipes are just guidelines.

It could be that I'm a redhead. Youngest Child. Gemini. Who knows. All I know is that I'm never good at following directions. I like to stroll down my own path. Stop and smell the roses. Cross the street when I want, stop when I want, go when I want. Directions and me? We don't get along.

This is why I'm a cook, not a baker. Baking means directions. Precise directions. And that, my dear friends, is not of interest to moi. I'd rather run naked through the streets with a chicken on my head that follow directions. Wait, naked? with a chicken? huh. Maybe I need to rethink that. But yeah, no directions that you.

The distaste for directions means when I *do* get around to baking something, it often ends up looking, and tasting, nothing like the original. Surprisingly, the majority of the time my results ARE edible, and can spawn recipes (ACK! directions!) all by themselves! Oh the Horror, Oh the Humanity!

Oh the Yummy Yummy Goodness!!

Allow myself to introduce...myself. or something. Or these, what started as banana bread and ended up as blueberry, pecan, banana califlower muffins. See the connection? yeah, I thought so. Me neither.

I started with this. The ingredients and recipe book of "Deceptively Delicious".


I changed this up a bit. I added pecans and blueberries. And frozen cauliflower puree. An extra banana. Really, HOW can you measure a banana without peeling it first, and then what the heck do you do with the rest? I don't roll that way. I decided 3 was a good number, so I went with it.
Then I realized I don't even *own* a loaf pan, and really, who has time for a loaf to cook? SO muffin tin it was.

Butter and sugar. Together again. Can you feel the love, tonight? Oh, and the recipe called for oil. But I don't have any fun oils, so butter it is.


Then I looked down and saw I had an audience. Hi Audience!


Mix wet. Ick. Looks kinda like...nope, not going there. not even on MY blog



Mix Dry. Better


Spray down your muffin tin. Trust me. Thank me. Adore me.


Donate a wooden spoon and tupperware to your audience. Giveaways are always a good way to keep the natives happy!


Load up those muffin tins. No half assed 3/4 full here. Dump it in. It works, trust me. Thank me. Adore me.


Slap those babies in the oven, glance at the clock and realize NOW is lunch time and there is no way those babies, or *your* babies will wait 30 minutes, so throw together some crackers, cheese and olives for a lunch/snack for the boy child.


Look outside and cry because it's snowing again.

Contemplate cracking open that big jug o'whiskey. YUM

Realize one child is happy eating food, the other child is happy eating cell phone, so upload photos.


Realize you just posted a picture of your baby belly rolls for the whole webiverse to see and cry.

Recover, grab those babies out of the oven, and enjoy.



YUM!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Red, I just found your blog, but can't remember from where. I love your humor and your kids are adorable!

Anonymous said...

um, no offense but are you trying to blatantly copy the Pioneer Woman or what?

Red said...

rough crowd! I adore Pioneer woman, I can only *wish* that my pictures, stories or humour were anywhere near her level. I'm just doing my best to chug along and do what I like to do. Taking picture of the recipe steps is definitely a PW specialty, but I am not alone in trying this technique, so to say "blatant"? I'm not sure I'd use that. I'd say more like admiration is the best compliment. Thanks for visiting..I think?