Oh Sure! Why Not! "Not me Monday!"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



I did not, I swear I absolutely did not, leave the freshly washed laundry piled on the living room couch all day so that I could just grab new outfits for the kids throughout the day without walking up the stairs. That would just be silly, when we all know I am such an amazing housewife that all clean clothes are folded and tucked away in designated drawers .0002 nano seconds after the dryer cycle ends

And in absolutely no way, at all, did I pile a dirty muffin tin, pizza stone, lasagna dish, pasta pot and frying pan in once huge pile just so i could have a square foot of counter space to throw together a semi-edible lunch. Considering the pristine condition of my kitchen, the above mentioned scenario would be absolutely impossible.

In no way, shape or form did I allow my baby girl to shred the toilet paper in the bathroom so she'd be quiet long enough for me to bloody well go to the freaking bathroom without her screaming or requiring to be held on my lap. I, the model mother, would of course sacrifice my urinary and bowel health to ensure that my child was held and content for all 24x60 minutes a day.

There is no way that it was possible that I got caught picking my nose by my almost-three-year old and then got a lecture by the said almost-three-year old about how we don't pick our noses or play with our penises in the living room.