Tiara Tales

the cake that needed cutting, originally uploaded by red_canuck.

I have Friday night Fever. Basically, the kids are in bed, the husband is asleep on the couch, the cats are running a muck somewhere and I'm lounging in front of the TV avoiding the disaster that is my kitchen. So, I says to myself, what better time than to share a story with you, my lovely imaginary friends? Now is the time. Or, at least during the commercials for "Man vs. Wild", cause I have a thing for Bear and he's taking his clothes off right now. I've got my priorities!

ok, focus here. Focus. Right....omg, he just took off his shirt....gleaming chisselled pectorals....whoa, ok, what? Tiaras? ok. got it. I'm good.

I shall share the story about my obsessions with Tiaras.

The other day, I was scrubbing the heck outta one of the toilets (honest! Scout's honour!) when I glanced up and caught sight of something twinkling in the bathroom mirror. Having already spit shined it, I was caught by surprised. I stood up to get a better look, and as I stood, the twinkle moved too! The twinkled grew and focused and became identifiable as....

the tiara perched atop my red locks.

oups! right, i forgot i had it on, seeing as how it was nestled into the familiar groove in my head. This is when I knew I might have a problem. A problem, or maybe just a great blog post. Who knows!
So here I am, baring my tiara wearing soul for your inspection. I, your friendly neighborhood redcanuck, wear my tiara to clean toilets. And do the dishes. And vacuum. Aaaaand change diapers, pay the bills, cook, clean, procreate...oups, ok, not that one. lately. I didn't just say that. sorry.

See, back when I first started wedding planning, I knew one thing - I would wear a tiara. Forget the rest of the planning, I needed that tiara. Everywhere I went, it wasn't the shiny white dresses that drew me in, it was the glistening sparkling tiaras. *sigh* gorgeousness. So I bought one that I loved. Aaaand then another. And then I discovered ebay and the rest is history. On my wedding day oh so long ago, my tiara collection counted an astonishing 11 specimens, each with it's own personality. There's the bling, for when i'm feeling shiny, there's the beade done, for the classic look, the crown, for my monarchist moments, the subtle one, for those private moments, the big one, the little one, the flower one, the cutsie one, the gold one....Did you know they make a tiara for every dress AND occassion? Cause they do. And I own them all.
I had a big plan, to switch them out throughout my wedding day, thinking that that would be the very last day I would ever ever let myself wear a tiara. Because really, WHAT self-respecting married woman wears a tiara, am I right? A doe-eyed engaged young woman has a very valid and heart tugging reason. An old married house-frau? Not so much.

But then the wedding was over, the gifts put away, thank you cards written and the post-wedding blues set in. Don't look at me like that, lots of people get them! it's the truth! Look it up on wikipedia! It sucks 'yo. Now feel sorry for me. Thank you.

One day, in the midst of my self-wallowing, I unearthed my tiara collection, locked the doors, closed the curtains and spent a marvelous 2 hours prancing around my house cleaning while wearing my tiaras. Self-Help, I have arrived! I decided to let societal norms be damned, if I wanted to wear my tiaras, I would! So I did. And I cleaned, which made the husband happy and thus gained his support for my tiara wearing.

And there you have it folks. I stand before you, a proud tiara wearing old house-frau. My toilets are all the shinier for my love of cleaning while wearing a tiara.

Go out and get yourself one. I dare you. I double DOG dare you. Your toilets, and family, will thank you.

Love, me

who yes, is wearing a tiara as I type this. The flowery one.