Takin' one for the team

Motherhood is all about sacrifice. We sacrifice our youthful figures, our 8 hours of sleep a night, the ability to pee with the door closed, shower consistently, wear white clothes, possession over our bodies, over our minds...
It's a rough go sometimes, I tell you!
Today, in the vain of self sacrifice, I allowed myself a special indulgence. After staring out at this for a few hours



I decided I needed something warm and gooey to eat. Cookies it is! And to kill two birds with one stone, to help out Miss A's newest growth spurt, I decided to dig up the trusty ol' lactation cookie recipe.

whoa, what's that? huh?

yes, I said Lactation cookies. I know, not exactly starbucks brand, eh? lol. Rest assured, these will not induce lactation in just anyone. They just involve some key ingredients that can boost the gazungas a bit. So what if they make my butt spread even faster? It's good for the baby! I'm doing good for her! See, sacrifice. that's what I'm talking about.

First, you need some special stuff. Ground flaxseed and Brewer's yeast. Got that? BREWER'S YEAST. no substitutes baby. Only the real thing will do!
And hey, why not some chocolate chips and pecan chunks too, cause that's how I roll ;)


Cast of characters:
You need the thick cut oats. yum. brown sugar baby. butta. eggs. flour. vanilla. baking soda. the usual.


Don't use the baking soda in the fridge, please. Trust me on this one. Get a separate one for baking. Thank you.

Start by measuring out your flaxseed and water. Add 'em together, they need to get to know each other. They be friends. Lovers. soul mates.... or something.


Get yourselves a cup of butter. If you are smart and prepared, it would be at room temperature. If you are scatterbrained and unprepared like me, pop the cold butter into the microwave for 30 seconds and get this


which is actually kinda cool looking, i like it! 12x12 canvass, here we come!

or not.

Mmm, butter and brown sugah. hello my lovers. I've missed you. Please, come join me. There's room on my right butt cheek.

I said butt.

Add your flaxseed mush, then crack your eggs. It's crackalacking! huh, why yes, I have been watching too much madagascar, i'm so sorry


oh vanilla. How I love you, let me count the ways. Mmm, ohhh, yeaaaaah.

ok, i'm done.

please, for all that is good and holy in this world, don't use artificial vanilla. Please, please buy the real stuff. thank you.

You *could* sift together all the dry ingredients. You probably should. But I'm too much of a rebel for my own good, and just add all the dry ingredients in. Don't hate me.


Don't be like me and make a huge mess. You shoulda SEEN my floors. Ugh. I need a dog. Husband? k? a dog?


Add your oats. mix mix mix. Add the glorious chocolate chips. pecans. or whatever else floats your boat and makes your butt spread.

Now be like me and mix it all together with your wedding rings on so we can all spend 2 hours tonight with a toothbrush cleaning gunk out. You know you want to.


Since your hands are already gunked up, just grab chunks of dough and roll into balls.



Set your kitchen timer for 8 minutes. Or, if you are old school like me and don't have a kitchen timer, use the timer on your microwave. And then take 13 seconds to find your camera, get the right settings, and take the picture


Yes, that's superman. In my defense that microwave is circa 1997 from my husband's University years. It's served us well. It will be retired on April 15th when we move into the NEW HOUSE (!) with it's fancy schmancy microwave stove hood. Oooooh, Aaaaaaah. pant pant. groan. I lurve it.

sorry.

Now look outside and cry


And then eat. Yum



The recipe:
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
4 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons flaxseed meal*
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups oats, thick cut if you can get them
1 cup or more chocolate chips
2 tablespoons of brewers yeast** (be generous)

Directions:
Preheat oven at 375 degrees F.
Mix together 2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.

Beat together butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mix well. Add flaxseed mixture, vanilla. Mix until blended.

Sift together dry ingredients, except oats and chips. Add to wet ingredients.
Stir in oats then chips.

Scoop or drop onto baking sheet, preferably lined with parchment or silpat.




Want more oat-y goodness? Check out these two recipes. They won't make your butt spread as much. Just a little. And they are worth it.